I am constantly reminded that the source of all unhappiness is other people. I don't even want to know why I started becoming a misanthrope or why, in an act to rectify such a mindset, that I still choose to try and find meaningful relationships with friends, family and other people. But fact is, friends, family and other people do not make up the entity that is "society" which is made up of plenty of faceless, formless people who tends to be the number one cause of problems, unfavorable situations and other such shitty stuff and trying to change anything will actually do any good.
People who say it's easier to hate than to love has never hated a faceless, formless mass of people with every fiber of their being that it might just explode but the problem is even if it did explode inside of me I wouldn't have enough combustible fuel for it to do anything productive.
I wish I wasn't born human, or at all even. People who say that "life is a wonderful gift" must seriously be touched in the brain somewhere, because life is not a gift, it's a chore. I'm a middle class person with plenty of luxuries in life and I still find that this life of mine is full of bullshit, frustration and exasperation that I'm not sure if the happiest of life events would even make up for it. I'm tired. Twenty years of life is long enough and from my short life I've seen enough to know that life is just full of shit and the meaning of existence is to momentarily swim up from that pool of shit, find some safe ground, watch as shit floods again so you have to swim back up again. There's no "greater" meaning to life than that, and I'm seriously just very tired.
I didn't choose to be born. I also didn't choose to be born with the biological functions of a woman. When it comes right down to it I don't want to be a woman or even a man, with plenty of responsibilities as dictated by the faceless and formless society. I just want to be left alone, to do what I please and yet life, society, responsibilities, everything, everything is out to get me. I hate it and because I am one powerless person, I am faced with the immeasurable despair of not being able to do anything but to live on anyway whether I like it or not.
There should be a real zombie virus. It would make so much sense. Everyone is slowly turning into a metaphorical zombie anyway. It'll be one big fat joke.